The Woody Review

Woody Allen, perhaps the greatest director to ever grace a hollywood project. There is little doubt that he is by far the best in terms of not just the quality of his movies but also in the consistency in which he gives those good movies. But the most overwhelming fact about him is the clip at which he generates his movies. Some say that Woody does not have much of variety and his films follow a predictable formula. Others accuse him of always playing "Woody" in all his movies. I do not so much disagree with these critics, but raise another question - if a predictable formula does not stop entertaining us over five decades, is it still alright to call it a "stale" type? A lot of people do not get Woody. They are like, Oh? Woody Allen? I have heard he is a great director. He directed Manhattan right? But fact remains that it takes little effort to become addicted to his movies. Even attempting to talk about his movies would be a disaster for me, as my column would run into volumes for each one that I enjoyed. But today, I am taking up the task of writing about not one, but TWENTY of Woody Allen movies for the 0nly reason that I have reached the mark of watching Twenty Woody movies. My best friend tells me that if I was a little funny, my writings would be dangerously close to Woody. Thank god I am boring. So without much further ado, here is the list of Woody Allen movies arranged from the poorest to the best (in his standards). It must be understood that not a single movie in this list was boring or dull for me. I did not even have to brush up my memory with a plot summary (except for one). But when I say a movie is on the poorer half of the list, it is purely based on how good the other movies were.
The list as follows; starting from the movie lowest on my list (and by no way should be considered to be my "least favorite" Woody film)...
20, Celebrity 1998; This is the only movie for which I had to go back to imdb to get the plot summary. It has its moments (for the brief portions where DiCaprio comes on making us wonder if it is still on storyline mode or real), but it is a major buzz kill for the amount of expectations it generates. The lead actor of the movie is poorly cast (a rare occurrence in a Woody movie), for he goes through the motions of being a Woody Allen look-alike. Though showing the trappings of celebrity-hood in a movie with celebrities in it is a tough ask, one expects Woody to have done a finer production with a more ironic take on things. This movie would have scored a 6.5 on a regular scale but on the Woody scale it comes in at a passing minimum of 4.5. It may also be considered as a Woody-wannabe-movie ironically made by Woody himself.
19, Vicky Christina Barcelona 2008 scores low on my scale because it comes across as didactic sermon against greed and lust when it could have been a dark portrait of ambition and talent. Even an attempt at capturing the "artist's" life would have been more interesting than having characters that are either too mundane to be of any interest or too over-the-top to be believed. The saving grace of the movie is Javier Bardem in his mysterious, yet grounded portrayal of the artist. Though some critics' minds may give in to temptation of giving a half-point extra for having seen half of Scarlett Johannson's booby; I unwaveringly give this movie a 6.7 (R) and 4.6(W). Except for the opening song, there is little that comes across as Woody-fresh.

18, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy 1982 is exactly what it promises to be; a midsummer night's sex comedy that nobody should take seriously. What works for this movie is the magical/romantic element that one feels pervading right from the title itself; but the strange and complex romantic feelings towards different characters in the movie seems almost forced and at times boring. The Shakespearean counterpart with a similar title also has elements similar to this; but the play works in the fact that whatever "magic" is supposed to happen is left to the imagination of the Elizabethan audience, while the movie cuts a sorry figure on that front as well. When I say that this movie was the only Woody movie ever nominated for a Razzie, you get the picture. It gets a humble 6 on the regular list but thanks to its innovative style promising more developed content soon in this genre from Woody, it nudge it across the passing grade to 4.5; the only Woody that works is the establishment and then the taking-apart of stereotypes; something that Shakespeare enjoyed doing himself.
17, Manhattan Murder Mystery 1993 is another movie in the crime genre that I really enjoyed watching, but could not place amongst the best of Woody's films. As a tribute to a genre of 50s & 60s crime movie, this movie works, however, to consider it as a film that could come exclusively from Woody's table, it does not work so much. There is simply no question that Diane Keaton and Woody share their sizzling chemistry from an earlier age; but this movie falls short as a nostalgic trip where everything is supposed to remind us of something else. The Woody quality of treating something ordinary in an extraordinary way, is absent. For this reason, though scoring highly on the regular scale, with 6.8 points, the movie barely makes it to a 4.7 on the Woody scale. The Woody element in this movie is Woody himself. That hurts the expectations a little.
16, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion 2001, with the gorgeous Helen Hunt and a hilariously cast Woody Allen (as a private investigator for an insurance firm), one expects so much out of this movie. It has a good cast and situations that are over the top, hilarious. The underlying sexual/romantic tension between the lead couple overflowing in a competitive childish manner in the beginning is just cute. Unfortunately, it ends up working only as a typical romantic comedy. That is bad, because other "crime" genre movies are so well made by Woody, that just a hypnotist-villain feels too uninspired. This movie gets a higher grade on the regular scale with 7.2 but suffers on the Woody scale just reaching 4.6: Dan Aykroyd as the two-timing boss with the cliché of "I'm getting divorced next month" is brilliant in this film.
15, Cassandra's Dream 2007 is definitely the most intense viewing of all the movies in this list with performances that overwhelmingly real and riveting and a screenplay that does not allow for an inch's error. With almost perfect characterizations for both Farrell and McGreggor and a brilliant cameo from Tom Wilkinson (almost as good as the one from Michael Clayton), and the haunting title from the name of the boat, which serves as both the grounding and escaping element, this movie is near perfection in craft. However, it could have been Darren Aronofsky who was making this movie. One feels that Woody went too bleak and too personal for us to actually enjoy the movie. What remains one of the best films I have seen this year is also at the same time, one of the most tiresome watches ever. It was a bit of a drag just after the half-way point. So despite a credible 5.0 on the Woody scale, the movie slumps to this position because of a tame 6.4 on the regular scale. The two sequences where the brothers plot the murder remains one of the best bits of acting in Farrell's career (and though I hate to admit it, he has done enough good movies for that to be a remarkable feat).
14, Scoop 2006 is actually a heart-break for me. Scarlett Johansson AND Hugh Jackman in this entertaining thriller is a great watch. Woody has never played a part which fits him more than this - of course, he always plays himself, but this is the most ironic situation that a person like him can ACTUALLY be in and still make it all about the story and not about him. So much is working FOR Scoop, but why is it so low down the ladder? It is because, let us be honest, the central plot itself lacked conviction. It was predictable and ordinary. The resolution was tame and it did nothing to make either Jackman or Johansson better than what they were - which usually is the high-selling point for the actors to fiercely compete wanting to be in a Woody film. I give this movie a stunning 8 on the watchability front while I give it a decent 4.8 for a movie on the lower half of the table. I wish I can rate this movie any better than it is, but I will be fooling myself.
13, Everything you have always wanted to know about sex, (but were afraid to ask) 1972 is an interesting pick for me; as it was one of the earliest Woody movies I have seen and I remember it fondly. It is not exactly a bad watch and will capture your attention for its creative conception and execution. What does not work in this movie for me is its episodic nature where the segments are often absurd for the point of being absurd. While the story of the sperm is an excellent telling of an ordinary story by a vivid imagination; something like a giant boob chasing people across a field simply does not appeal to me. The movie presents a lot of moments but all make you feel that they would have been better if they had had back stories that would have fed into and built on the existing moments. This movie gets a strong 7.7 in regular but just 4.7 on the Woody scale. We feel that the Woody streak of genius has almost set in; and it is just a matter of time before he embarks on his great phases.
12, Bananas 1971 features here quite unfortunately, because it is an excellent satire and one of the best political satires in the English movie universe. However, it features low on the list particularly because the craft of Woody's cinema has not been perfected at the time of this movie's making. However, one feels that without making a movie like this, at this stage, he would not have been able to mature into a more complete film (interestingly on a similar theme); Sleeper (1973). Bananas works at many levels but one feels that it would have been a more effective play rather than a movie for its highly symbolic nature. I give it a decent 6.6 (R) and a 5.1 (W).
11, Casino Royale 1966 being on the lower half of the scale is no big surprise, given that Woody was not even credited for this one (being low on the hollywood totem pole back then). Some people do not even consider this as a Woody film for it was written probably under terrible pressure from both the studios and the man who cannot keep his talented nose out of others' business, Peter Sellers. But I still add this to the list for I feel that there are so many unmistakably Woody elements in this Bond film. I place this film on the wall between the bottom and the top half, for though it is one of the weakest Woody films, it is also pretty imaginative. One can only speculate and sigh at the direction in which the Bond franchise would have traveled in, if only a more Woody was allowed to write building on this movie. With an ordinary 6.3 (R) and a respectable 5 (W), this movie is a reminder that genius can find a way to shine no matter how dire the circumstances are.

10, Zelig 1983 features on the second half of the list for the innovative style and content of the movie. The theme of identity runs strongly through all Woody movies. Finding one's self, either at the psychiatrist's couch or from the four walls of the house or everyday objects that take up a symbolic value, Woody always shows how important it is for a person to know their place in the equation of the world. No other film of Woody explores this idea more than this, where a mockumentary tracks the events surrounding an amazing character, Zelig who BECOMES the people he is with. The movie goes beyond just narrating a tale of love, lost and found for it finds a Universal element gently suggesting that we are all Zeligs who are more than happy to simply adjust to the scenario when it is tough to hold on to our own identities. I watched this movie with my best bud so early in the morning, that I could not remember much of it; so I watched it again. And boy, am I glad that I watched it a second time and I must admit, I was impressed. It is this compelling quality that makes me rate this movie high, despite its limited entertainment per se. This is simultaneously a well-made film as well as an total Woody show. This movie scores a solid 5.5 on the Woody scale and a humble 6.4 on the regular. With that, we enter the top half of the list.
9, Small Time Crooks 2000 is an excellent example of how a crime/heist genre of movie can be narrated in such a wholesome Woody style. As opposed to some of its lower ranked counterparts (Scoop, Manhattan Murder Mystery and The curse of the Jade Scorpion), this movie focuses more on the characters than the heist plot itself. Woody seems to get a grasp over the idea that crime has been done to death; so the only way he can make a meaningful addition to the genre is to show the anti-crime; where his characters are fools who try the old idea of digging from a different joint to do the "bank-job" but ending up hitting on a different kind of a jackpot. Tracy Ullman in her quest for class is a, excuse the bad pun, class act. The age-old prejudice/conflict between new money and old money is beautifully portrayed without pissing off the members of the audience who really don't have ANY money. Hugh Grant as David is not the obvious choice but this movie (unlike Scoop) helps the actor to reach a different level. This is why people want to work with Woody. Jon Lovitz could have been used better, but he does shine in his Benny. The precarious nature of their company and the sweet-sincere nature of everyone who's a part of that organization is well written. But it is Carolyn Saxon as Mae who kills us with her dead-pan humor and deeply empathetic performance. The circle of life completes itself almost too well; but I am fine with balance when it is aware of its own impossibility. The movie gets a good 7.1 (R) added to a 5.2 (W). It still cracks me up whenever I think of Woody threatening Tracy that he might hit her.
8, Mighty Aphrodite 1995 stars the ever so lovable Mira Sorvino in another stereotype as the whore with a golden heart. This movie has Woody taking heads-on academics by writing a modern masterpiece in the Greek Tragedy style and still maintaining the movie as a Comedy. The chorus, the development of the plot, the climax and even the deus ex machina at the end of the movie are so well-positioned and refreshingly used, that one does not for a moment stop to think of them as elements that are out of place. There have been many who have successfully adapted Greek Tragedies to the Modern stage but this is the closest that one can re-create the Greek Tragedy. The reversal happens furthering the plot. However, one important element of Greek Tragedy called anagnorisis (critical discovery) is deliberately by-passed to give a sense of irony - which is Woody's strongest point. With really good actors and an entertaining, everyday plot, this movie gets a good 7.2 (R) and a 5.8 (W), particularly because I cannot help but be impressed repeatedly by the treatment of the tale.
7, Radio Days 1987 is a nostalgic trip to a world which I have had little direct encounter with. However, when I saw the movie, I was transported to my own early childhood where, despite radios being out of fashion, my parents made a habit of waking us up to the news, the odd song, the social feature and the message for the day. I would go through my routine in the morning listening half-asleep to those features and would hasten or slow-down depending on which part of the morning program I was at. Though this movie is extremely topical, pertaining to a single culture and a specific time, it still appealed to me for it triggered off elements from my own life. For that reason, I give this movie an ordinary 6.1 (R) but also a commendable 5.9 (W). Nobody can help but to burst out laughing when they see who the voice of Superman is, in the movie. That is the magic of the radio - it shows you nothing; but it takes you there.
6, Interiors 1979 is a gripping drama which is never dealt with directly. The idea of taste as a feature of high-life and the cultured life is explored brilliantly. When people dismiss Woody as a comedic director, this movie keeps coming back to me. Not only is the taste expressed by the art department so overpoweringly symbolic, but also the tone of the different characters and their distance from the core narrative is explained without ever looking at the problem. This movie also has a delusional character in all its major parts that makes it very life-like. I like this movie for being distinctly Woody Allen in a very different manner; for it retains much of his grasp of human emotions while doing away with the ironic self-awareness inside his characters. This actually heightens the tension in the movie, making it a direct and at times, a forceful venture to tackle. This movie gets a jump to a 6.5 (W) while retaining a lower general rating at 6.5 due to its overly subtle dramatic context.
5, Annie Hall 1977 is often mentioned as the most favorite Woody film by many. The reasons are fairly straight-forward. It is highly entertaining with a plot that almost everyone can relate to. The highlight of this movie, however, is the sheer volume of direct address. The movie takes meta-theatricality as a window through which characters can speak their minds out without compromising on the overall impact or appearing didactic. There are so many elements that this movie offers for directors across the globe to copy from (or to use their term, be "inspired" by) and many have done a decent job of copying. What makes this movie only so-so for me is that, as Woody admits, it does have a neatly-wrapped nature to it. It takes the easy way out more often than is interesting in the story; particularly, when moments like the psychiatrists' couches are highly amusing and engaging. Diane Keaton and Woody Allen do well together in the movie but Keaton gives an impression that she is too forcefully unrealistic compared to other movies (like the one mentioned later). Something just does not click in this movie for her; as she jumps from one stereotype to another. La dee daa. This movie gets a watchable 7.1 (R) and a good 6.7 (W). The finest moments in the film for me are when Alvie Singer goes out in the road talking to random strangers who give their advice on how to live his life.
4, The Purple Rose of Cairo 1985 is perhaps the most poignantly told love story in the Woody canon, as far as I have seen. Mia Farrow is ever so believable but it is Jeff Daniels that steals the screen with his performance. He shows how good an actor he is (and not just a chubby/funny uncle to the Bob Saget's strict father) so many years before the Squid and the Whale. What really makes me value this movie so much above the others is that despite portraying bleakly the sanction of the victim in Mia's character, who repeatedly allows herself to be sacrificed by people who are worse than her; a sense of magic is always kept ticking in the movie. The unrealistic, the imaginative and the improbable serves as a perfect foil to the dark, mundane yet troubling flippancy of human nature. The meta-theatricality of the film as well as its attention to the ritual repetition of an action is also mind-boggling. That every action changes into something else over a period of repetition, is demonstrated by the archeologist who is tired of playing his character and steps out of the silver screen. The "real" actor, however is so real that he cannot split the line between acting and reality even at the most important moments of his life; showing the indecision of human nature which cares little for others, when personal interests take over. Mia's choice is another indicator towards her self-willed sacrifice. Totally, this movie works because of so many layers of codification presented in such a smooth and enjoyable tale. I give this movie a solid 7.8 (R) and 7 (W). What a lovely treat this movie is! It often makes me to think of the movie within the movie, hoping that it gets made some day.
1, Sleeper 1973, is the only movie starring Woody in the top3. Surprising, I must say. Just as surprising as it would be for a LOT of people that I even added this film in the top3 (I should stop calling it that, for it is meant to be a three-way-tie for the #1), let alone the top half of the list. I am a strange man and I like strange things; but this is no odd pick if you have followed the style of this rating. Does this movie have a simple but strong basic storyline? Check. Does it show a sense of awareness that other film-makers cannot reach? Check. Does this have wave after wave of reversals and ironic comedy? Check. Does this movie talk to global audience without trappings of topicality? Check. Then why is it surprising that it features at the top of the list? This movie is relentless in its attack towards EVERYTHING that human society does. Surprisingly, Woody takes up the mask of the pessimist who is actually an Optimist at such an early venture - a recurrent motif that finds its way into his movies as late as '09. The idea of doing what makes you happy is featured explicitly in this film where Diane Keaton does her finest work as a Woody-Muse. No one can keep a straight face while watching the sex with a sphere scene and when Woody wakes up from his "sleeping". When the storyline is to look at dystopian future from a 70s point of view, one expects this movie to be extremely dated and reductionist. However, it is surprisingly fresh AND relevant even today. I get the feeling that this is how 1984 would have been if Orwell was high while writing it. This movie gets a whooping 8.6 (R) and 8 (W). I still double up laughing just thinking of Diane Keaton doing her Marlon Brando impression (the best I have seen to date).
1, Whatever Works! 2009 is not a single movie. It is like a snowball that has been gathering momentum for over forty years finally exploding into the existence. This movie is an excellent example of what a Woody film without Woody in the lead should be like. There is not even an iota's attempt on Larry David's part to BE Woody. Instead, he shows how good an actor he is; by carrying the ball when trusted with the solo lead in a Woody film. This is such a contrast to Celebrity's Ken Branagh. The movie has been dissed by some as an ego-massage that Woody treated himself to by making a young twenty something to fall in love with a near seventy year old. However, one who watches the movie with some involvement would see that it is not an exercise in self-indulgence but a rational demonstration of what could happen when a grumpy old man is willing to give life another chance. Just because you get out after a long time on a particular bus, it does not mean that you have to ultimately choose that bus as the journey companion for the rest of your life. The idea of reformation is also reminiscent of Annie Hall, and there are umpteen references to that movie indirectly and directly; but this movie seems more complete for it is made by the same man with a more seasoned world-view. This is the movie that Woody anticipates at the end of Annie Hall, where he sheepishly admits that it was his first play anyway. This love story is bound to shock and entertain anyone who watches it but at the heart of it, the philosophy of individual happiness that can be squeezed out of a cactus in a desert shines through. The movie gets a solid 9 (R) and a monumental 8.5 (W). Interesting enough, the constant re-evaluation of David's score for the girl at his home shows how frail the human mind is as well as how we all need a little attention from the cruel, unforgiving world.
1, Match Point 2005 is for me, the best movie Woody has ever made. It is a personal favorite; for it was the FIRST ever Woody Allen movie I watched. Where do I start why this movie is good? The casting is excellent. Jonathan Rhys Myers is one of this generation's most under-appreciated stars, who is exponentially talented in comparison with what is credited to him. Scarlett Johansson in her best movie role. This is the epitome of film-making where a dark, sinister story unfolds in the most uncontrollably real fashion. If you must know, Woody tells the entire story in the first 30 seconds or so of the film. What follows hits you at a gut level for it is not beyond possibility, despite the overwhelming sense of cosmic drama at play. The movie is every-bit an instant classic. So much of the tale is pulled together at its core, that even to say anything more than this would compromise the plot. So without further ado, I give this movie an insurmountable 9 on both the regular and the Woody scale. I must say that my perception of tennis underwent considerable change after watching this epic written on the success of luck over virtue. Back when I used to get Zee Studio relay, I used to catch glimpses of this movie whenever it was played.
A lot of people say that Woody is an intellectual director who is so complex that the regular crowd would not take a liking to him, as they like someone like, say Steve Martin. Some say, oh, Woody just trivializes some of the greatest ideas of human civilization into a farce where he takes nothing seriously, making him an escapist. So, what kind of a director is Woody Allen; what does he represent to me? For me, Woody is a Non-Conformist - which is such a tough thing to be. Having been in an industry for nearly five decades, Woody still finds enough cause to stick on to his philosophy which he explains as early as '73 even in a movie made in '09. Changing one's mind is easy. It is almost inevitable over a period of time. We grow embarrassed of our decisions in the past. We are always looking for what's new and what's next. There have been cases of many priests who have had faith-crisis over a period of time; not for any other reason but just because they have been priests for so long. Does it not take the highest courage and strength and sheer will-power to doggedly hang on to the same core value while constantly upgrading and evolving the self? That stubbornness, that determination to be aware of the nature of the world around him and the relationship between him and the world around, makes Woody the most memorable personalities, not just in film, for me.

In my simple words, here is the Woody idea for life in a few lines; A lot of different people have a lot of different ways to define the world as such and such. Classifications, naming things, ideas seem to be the favorite pastime of humans. Each declares that their idea is so superior to the rest of the ideas that they stop figuring their own place in the universe. Stop worrying about all that. Do whatever works for you. If you are happy and can make a few people around you happy, you have done well in your life.

Now, that is a philosophy to live for!