Neither the Constitution of India nor Indian law specifies a National language, Mouther Fulcher.

There are twenty two official languages, of which fifteen are displayed on the paper currency of this glorious nation. And not one takes precedence over the other. So the next time a busterd (not the bird or the movie) comes to my face with a smug condescending smile to tell me to "come on" and know the "national language", (s)he will have to say hello to my fist. Oh wait, (s)he cannot; it will be difficult to say hi when my fist is pressing against his/her uvula.

Now, let me put this down as emphatically as possible; I am NOT a linguistic hardliner. I do NOT believe in the superiority of one language over another. Neither am I limited in my perception to think that MY MOTHER TONGUE is the greatest language in the world; nor have I ever supported any viewpoint which insisted on preserving the purity of MY language. The first thing that I did when I landed in Calcutta (well not the first literal thing but the first metaphorical thing; don't lose focus here!) was to enrol myself in a beginner's course in Bengali and I am proud to say that I have grown in that langauge enough to call it Bangla and translate actually some of the excellent lines of verse by Tagore (albeit with a LOT of help from my friends and teacher). I believe that it is retarded to think that we have to write in a form as followed by people about a hundred years ago, as is done in Tamil magazines to date.

However, when I am asked to recognize a language, which is not even a single language, but an umbrella under which everything that is spoken from the North/Central belt of "India", ranging between Rajastan to Bihar, as MY national language. I say Fuck You.