I am not tired of Bruce

Apart from inspiring me to consider his name for one of my many future children, Bruce Willis has made sure of one thing. He can play a cop when he is ninety and making his hundred and thirty eigth cop film, and we would still not be bored. This man, is the new Clint Eastwood. Surprising, that he was a bartender who played second fiddle on a sitcom before breaking out as one of the greatest Hollywood action stars and by far the greatest in the nineties (and surprisingly even in the 2000s). Yes, he has done sucky movies like Perfect Stranger and Planet Terror (there, I have said it) but Bruce Willis is funny and cool. He does not don those six packs but he has edged out the muscle-mountains like Stallone or Schwarzenegger with his cool. So, without much ado or expression of such unadulterated man-love... Let me give you my view on Surrogates (2009).

Begin review. Surrogates is a kickass movie. End of review.

For the slightly longer version: The movie starts off with an extremely artificial Bruce Willis with ultra-smooth, pink skin, considerably a few inches taller and with fake golden hair parted at one side. Ugghh! I felt so squeamish, for having brought someone along who has not seen any Bruce Willis movies and having put him on a pedastal for being the man who could kill a helicopter with a car. I did not want the image of Bruce Willis on a schtick to be the first impression. Anywho, the good lord heard my prayers and out comes a sleepy, unshaven, bald (I like!) Willis who realizes that he needs to kickass oldschool. Five cops, under his command are killed and he needs justice be done. Ooh.. I forgot to add, the world (about a quarter century in the future) has adopted the use of surrogates (manequins that do whatever you think). No matter what happens to the surrogates, you are safe - or so the world believed. Until this new weapon takes out a bunch of people. Bruce has to walk the unsafe streets and get to the bottom of this mystery. On the way, he encounters a prophet (Rastafarian Ving Rhames. 'nuff said), a mad scientist, his scarred wife (a little too literal for my taste), his eternal love-puppy/partner, a really cool fat dude and a couple of cars that can take serious damage. At the end of the movie, you smile when you get to the "yippee kay-yay motherfucker" moment. Worth a million in gold. The movie is hilarious, at times intentionally and sometimes not so much. The acting is really good. The special effects have been used very wisely. Kudos on the detailing about the entire surrogacy. The movie walks a good mile away from being anything close to the heavy philosophy side of the issue, like they did in movies like The Matrix. This is clean, uncomplicated fun which very clearly conveys a couple of profound and more tangible truths of addiction to comfort/technology. Willis has done this before by taking a 2x4 to a digital war (in Die Hard 4.0). Loved every bit of that. However the movie cannot give you the feeling of existential crisis that Matrix so easily evokes. Another of my favorite movies which I saw this reflecting, was Wall E. The futuristic age where we are too comfortable was portrayed in that movie so well. This seems like a link from our age to the age of that speechless computer. And of course, for the first time, Bruce Willis does not get totally mothered before he gets the bad guys. At the end, it is pretty much a whodunit. Whoever wants to rally for Bruce Willis as the next Batman, raise your hands and scream "marshmallow". The Dark Knight, is essentially a detective. Anyway, this movie works for me in so many levels. I give it a two-thumbs up!